“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” – Ed Cunningham
I had just lost a pregnancy I desperately longed for since I was a little girl, it seemed. A sonogram revealed something I never imagined- my baby had died in the womb. A “blighted ovum” they called it, something that was fairly common, but didn’t feel common to me. Tears came until there were none left. I was heartbroken, tired and out of words. All of the anticipation of being a mom ended with a D & C, removing the remains of my precious first child. So many people loved me, and I knew that. But I’ll never forget the friend that came to sit with me- not to say anything, because no amount of words could fix my sadness. She came to sit with me, just offering her presence. She mourned across the couch, and I felt better because I knew she was there. She was a friend to me in my time of need, and I was so thankful for her.
Then there was that awful period after my marriage fell apart. My home was similar to one that had just lost a family member, and in a sense, that’s exactly what had happened. People brought food. People came to sit with me. People came to pray with me. These precious friends cried with me, too- feeling my grief alongside me. They came to hang out and help me feel supported and less lonely. They sent flowers and cards, and texted to check on me. They helped to fill a huge void in my life- the missing companionship of my husband. These people gave me life when my heart felt dead. They made me smile and laugh and gave me light when I felt surrounded by darkness. Because that’s what friends do, right?
Friends are something we all need. They enrich our lives and throw us a lifeline when life gets rough and we feel like we’re drowning in sorrow and fear. Our all-knowing, wonderful God created the whole concept of friendship for a reason- because He knew how much we needed them. Women generally do better with establishing friendships than men, yet men are no less in need of true friends. Friends are a huge source of support throughout our lives, offering love, advice, help and encouragement. Friends are a network of accountability as well, giving us a sounding board and perspective. They tell us when we need to straighten up- not afraid of ruffling our feathers.
Life’s problems seem a little more bearable with the support of our friends. We feel more capable in hard times, because they help us carry the load. We share our burdens with our closest friends, not worried they will ostracize us or turn their backs on us. We can be vulnerable with them, because we know they care for us and want what’s best for us. Men- you need people like this in your life, and you need to learn to be a friend to other men that need you. When you have friends, they will be there for you when you fall. They will encourage you to get back up again. Women- if you struggle with friendships, you also need them. You can try to handle life’s problems alone, but why would you want to? As Christians, we enjoy a friend relationship with our heavenly Father, but we also need a godly network of people in our lives that will be there for us in good times and bad times. If you find yourself in a crisis, these people will be there for you. I will always be thankful for my friend group, and for how they carried me through my most painful seasons. If you’re one of them, know you will always have a special place in my heart. And if you ever need a friend, I am here for you. Let’s not be too proud to share our burdens and allow others to help us when our burdens are simply too heavy for us to carry ourselves. Thank God for the gift of friendship, and how He gives abundantly when we simply ask for a friend.
PS… My husband that I wrote about in this post? Today, he’s my closest friend. I’ll never get over how amazing God is, and how He really does give abundantly more!
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. Proverbs 27:9 (ESV)
A friend loves at all times, … Proverbs 17:17a (ESV)
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another, Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for the gift of friendship. Thank You for those You have placed in our lives, sharing the burdens and joys we experience. Help us, in turn, to be a good friend to others. And Father, we thank You for being our greatest Friend. In Your name we pray, Amen!
