We often like to think we are highly-committed people, but many times, we find it so easy to throw in the towel and quit. Take dieting, for instance. I often find myself setting goals, only to throw them out the window for a piece of warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream, or a Chick-fil-A sandwich with a frosted coffee. I planned to have a little, boring cup of greek yogurt, but my hunger spoke louder than my good sense. The most important aspect of being successful in weight loss, is a commitment to sticking it out- and sometimes, I simply cave.
The same is true within a marriage. There are so many tools we can apply in our marriages that will help to better them- love, grace, understanding, patience, kindness, actions that support our words, a listening ear, a servant’s heart, honesty, respect and so much more! But without commitment, those tools simply aren’t enough. If we don’t believe in the vows we made, “as long as we both shall live”, we are in hot water! A marriage lacking in commitment is in trouble.
Apart from abuse, viewing our marriage as permanent is crucial to its health. In my own marriage, for almost two and a half decades, we were both completely committed to one other. It was understood that we would always be together, as long as God gave us. But in a very short time, Satan opened up the door to a “way out”. He whispered lies that separated us. He provided a recipe for marital disaster. And as soon as commitment was in question, we found ourselves suffering the consequences of allowing this thought process to invade and destroy.
Why is it important to God that we honor our marriage, and stay committed? God has patterned marriage after His relationship with us- His children. He calls our relationship with Him a marriage. We are His Bride, and He is our bridegroom. How serious is God’s commitment to His people? Does He change His mind about us when we fail Him? Does He decide He likes someone better than us, and abandon us? Does He grow tired of us, and long for someone better? No! God is faithfully committed to us, and that will never change. Even when we are the most unlovable.We never have to worry about where He is, or if He will stick around. He is always with us, and He always will be. If our marriage is to be a picture of that relationship He has with us, then we should have a clear picture of why He values our marital commitment, and wants us to remain faithful to one another.
While I may sometimes stink at staying committed to a healthy diet, I need to make sure I don’t lose sight of being committed in my marriage. Some days will be hard. Some seasons will seem almost impossible. Some moments will crush my heart. But most won’t. Most have been enjoyable, comfortable, wonderful, fulfilling and full of wonderful memories. But even on the days when those seem far from reach, may God give me a heart of commitment to my husband. If I want my marriage to succeed, and I most certainly do, then I have to believe there isn’t a way out. Not because I’m trapped, but because God has a plan for the two of us, and if I quit, I’ll miss out on whatever it is. And in the process, I would tarnish the picture of God’s love for His children. Friend- let’s not say we are stuck in our marriages when we consider commitment. Instead, let’s stay committed- focused on being the very best spouse for our partner. Even on the hard days. Even when we don’t want to- we stay. Because God stays with us.
If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2 ESV
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 ESV
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, it’s easy to stay committed when things are great, and life is good. But on the harder days, we often want to quit. Give us the strength and courage to remain committed to our marriages- even when they don’t look the way we hoped. Help us to be a picture of grace when grace is needed, and help our marriage to reflect your relationship with us. Lord, even when it seems impossible, we know there is always a way, because You are with us. In Your name, we pray, Amen!
