There are a few things I have proclaimed I would never do in life! One was marrying my husband;) My husband was my younger brother’s BFF, so I never took him seriously when he said he liked me. I also never really thought I would be a fan of spray tans, but today, I sit here nice and golden (not orange), waiting to board a ship tomorrow. I mean, who likes to be pale when you’re cruising the high seas? So I’ve learned something about the word “never” – a word I should use less often, and with careful consideration.
Never was a word we used about infidelity. In our marriage, we believed it was a “never”- yet here we are, living in the “it happened to us”. I wonder if you’ve said it about your marriage, too. While it’s an admirable goal, and one we hope to live up to, it’s also a prideful statement. Anyone can fall, and I was taught that lesson in a painful way. I think a much better way to look at infidelity is to not say “never”, but to carry out daily practices to protect you from a real possibility of falling to it. Because if you know my husband, you know, like me, that it really can happen to any of us. And while you may outwardly acknowledge the truth in that, you may inwardly whisper- but not for us.
What are your “nevers” in life? Looking back, how many did you actually end up doing at some point? For me, I have crossed plenty “nevers” off of my mental list. I’ve found that my “nevers” were rooted in pride, believing myself to be better than I truly am. But I’ve also found freedom in falling to them- freedom that when I do fall to my own ridiculous standards, God isn’t surprised, and He is there for me, waiting for me to allow Him to carry me through.
If you feel as if you are safe from an extramarital affair, let go of that assumption. There isn’t a need to feel fearful when you let go, but instead, look to God as the foundation in your marriage, and build it up day by day. Acknowledge your need of protection from sin, and arm yourselves daily in staying committed, and faithful. And please, never say never when it comes to infidelity. Instead, pray that God protects your marriage, and that you remember Who should be guiding each of you every day! You are never safer than when He is at the center of your marriage- so don’t let Him go!
But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:3 ESV
Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12 ESV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I confess my pride in believing I am above falling to sin. Help me protect my marriage by allowing You to be at the center of it, and encouraging my spouse to allow that as well. Thank You for faithfully restoring and forgiving when we do fall. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!