Regrets- things I wish I had never done or said, yet they remain unchangeable in nature leaving me with bad memories. From lies, to friend choices, to spending habits, to perms in just the front of my hair in high school (not even kidding); the list is pretty extensive in reality. Some of these regrets are easily forgettable, and some change the course of our lives. Maybe you understand the bigger regrets in painful ways- things like unsaid apologies, a loss of time spent with a parent who has passed away, a poor example of behavior in front of your children, substance abuse, or even infidelity. These are regrets that can cause deep pain and psychological issues, yet we can’t undo what we’ve done. When I look behind me, I see a trail of mistakes and missed opportunities, some which are painful to recall. But looking back keeps me locked in regret, rather than focusing on what’s ahead with more discerning eyes and a wiser heart.
The truth is, we all have regrets. We all have those painful choices we made that hurt others and led to disappointment and heartache. We chose paths motivated by our sinful flesh rather than the leading of the Spirit. But we must choose to learn from our mistakes without allowing them to define our present. People have asked me if I would wish away the affair that assaulted our marriage, and I confess this is a difficult question. While the affair stripped away my security and trust initially, it also brought about some pretty amazing things as well- a keen awareness of God as Comforter and Friend, and a more tender husband and marriage relationship.
While we all have regrets, we need to learn to leave them behind us and not allow them to bring us down in our present. It doesn’t really matter if I could make changes in the past, because I can’t. What’s done is done, and it simply can’t be changed, so why waste time and energy thinking about it? But today- today is full of new possibilities and opportunities! I can make a difference today and make better choices with spiritual discernment. I can pray about my decisions and wait on God’s leading for today and the future. I can appreciate the marriage I have today. But I can’t make different choices in my yesterdays.
Regret is a thief. It will rob you of peace, joy and contentment. If we allow it to remain, it will rob our relationships. Regret has its place between sin and confession, and from there, we need to let it go. Whatever regrets you are facing today, make each one right and choose to release them. God can use our failures for good- that’s part of what He does. I don’t want to go through life carrying the identity of my past sin, and I’m sure you don’t want to either. Release any whom you may be forcing into a lifetime sentence of regret by truly forgiving them and allowing them to move forward. And why not start with yourself? Release yourself from the burden of regret, and step into the future with determination to let go of the past. Today is a new day- live it joyfully, without regret!
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, Philippians 3:13 ESV
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 2 Corinthians 7:10 ESV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for the sins of my past- each one is against You. Help me to release myself from guilt and regret after forgiveness is given. None of us are perfect, Father, and I pray that I will truly allow Your blood and Your grace to cover my sins, allowing me to let them go. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen!