Driving down the road today, I saw a billboard that spoke to me. Not really for what it was intended for, but it stood out all the same. I was driving to Hobby Lobby, (because who doesn’t just love that store?), when I saw a sign urging us to have an emergency plan in place. The sign simply said : Don’t wait. Communicate! Make your emergency plan. The sign featured a home in ruins, likely from storm or fire damage. It’s a very practical call to speak with our families about safety plans before disaster strikes. What a great reminder, and one we should follow. I found this sign to be important and relevant- but my mind went to storms that are not as physical in nature.
American families today are the busiest they’ve ever been. Our kids play sports. Travel teams are all the rage- we want them to have the best training, but there is a cost. They dance. They play piano. We run them to gymnastics. There are countless school events we must attend. Social media wars for our attention. Many families have both parents working- building our careers demands time. Church responsibilities are important, and we try to attend each service or event. Dinner tables, with all family members present, are few and far between. We shove a million little things into each day, then collapse at the end; exhausted and disconnected from the most important things- our marriages, our families, and God. We simply don’t have time anymore, and it’s a heartbreaking trend.
People have asked me, “Ruth, what led to the breakdown of your marriage? What went wrong?” One of the most painful and surprising answers is this- we simply were too busy to properly communicate. This causes a disconnect that is easy to miss at first, but becomes increasingly dangerous over time. Can I urge you, dear friends and readers- invest in your families, invest in your children, but never at the expense of your marriage. It is vital to allow open spaces of time to just enjoy the company of your spouse. This is impossible if you cram your day full of activity.
If you’re like the average American, you’re likely swamped. You don’t really have the time to enjoy with your spouse, the way you should. It sounds nice, but where can you squeeze that into your already full schedule? If there is one lesson my husband and I have learned in this phase of a restored marriage, it’s learning to say no. We don’t have to do everything. We don’t need to be everywhere, at everything. Our kids don’t have to do all the things. But what we do need, is to preserve “us”. If we allow our communication to suffer, our marriage will suffer. So today, make an emergency plan. You don’t want to be like that picture of a house destroyed. Today, in this moment, take every step possible to communicate regularly with your spouse and your children. Satan wishes to begin the process of destruction in our marriages- in fact, he may have already started with yours. What will you do about it? Don’t turn a blind eye, and refuse to acknowledge the war against us. Say no. Stay home. Sit down together and just talk. Say, “I love you”. Touch one another. Tear down the walls that you’ve built up from over-committing. It’s war- one you can win, with God’s help, and a simple plan to be available and engaged in one another’s lives.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 ESV
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. Proverbs 23:4 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for allowing so much into our lives, that we are putting our marriages, family and our relationship with You, in jeopardy. Equip us with the will to say “no”, and invest in what really matters. Thank You, Father, for giving us our families, but give us wisdom in what we allow in them. It’s so easy to fall into the trap Satan has laid out for our relationships, and find ourselves empty, dissatisfied and disconnected. Open our eyes, Lord, and may we really see the cost of our choices. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!
