There is nothing that unsettles me like having my “right” disrupted. A mess on the kitchen floor, a missing check, a piece of wayward hair, or a dinner gone bad, can yank my chain. “Right” feels good to me, and I don’t want anything or anyone to mess it up. Doing so frustrates me, and makes me feel stressed. It’s silly, since life is rarely full of days that go perfectly right, so why I let it get to me, I don’t know.
What I do know is that when “right” turns “wrong”, I scramble to clean up the mess and restore order once again. It doesn’t really matter about the process, as long as it is quick. That works just fine when you’re dealing with little life messes, but when you’re facing infidelity in your marriage, quick won’t work. Fixing the bigger issues in my life takes time, effort, patience, and the help of my Heavenly Father.
I confess when it came to my broken marriage, I initially rushed “right.” I hated being broken, and longed for things to feel normal again. I accepted an apology without a change of heart. I wanted to believe him, because I wanted to believe. I forgave, and didn’t wait to see the spiritual change I longed for. As a result, I found myself in a mess again from rushing forward. I welcomed him back home, wanting so desperately for him to be there. But I soon discovered that without a spiritual change, this wasn’t what was right.
Waiting is hard, isn’t it? Especially when you don’t have peace with your “now.” I knew that scripture urged me to wait on the Lord, and I heard if from others. But sometimes when you’re hurting while you wait, your heart can get in the way of wisdom. Yes- I longed for the wrongs to be made right, but until they really were right, it was wrong to push forward. And yet life is a learning process, and God understood my longing.
After my husband walked out the door the second time, I knew I could not receive him back without a change in not only his heart, but his spiritual heart. I would not rush ahead this time, but would exercise faith and patience as I waited to see what God had for me. I didn’t know what that was, but I knew that until He gave it to me, I wasn’t interested. Some things are just not meant to be rushed into, but when God unmistakably opens a door, I don’t want to miss it. And I hope I’m not too busy to notice from rushing around to find that missing check or fix a piece of wayward hair!
The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. Proverbs 14:15 ESV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6 ESV
For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end- it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3 ESV
For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him. Ecclesiastes 8:6 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to exercise godly patience and not rush things. It’s hard to wait, yet I know that waiting for Your timing will bring about the peace I truly long for. Guide my steps, and give me eyes to see like You see, and a heart that seeks Your way, and not my own. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!